Doug Tree’s “Hey Dude” Pickleball Set
Because sometimes it’s just you, the paddle, and a whole lot of questionable decisions.
You ever call someone while shirtless, holding a paddle in one hand and examining your new amazon package with the desperation of a man who hasn't seen a W since 2019?
That’s Lil Q.
And judging by the Vaseline, the dim lighting, and the battlefield of laundry behind him—he’s not prepping for a match, he’s prepping for disappointment.
This pickleball set holds its form better than Q holds a conversation.
It’s durable, reliable, and blessedly silent—unlike Q’s phone calls.
What’s in the set (besides abandonment issues):
• 2 wooden paddles with black edges – perfect for when you’re talking smack to yourself in the mirror
• Soft poly-cotton grips – for comfort between existential crises
• 2 neon yellow balls – bright enough to remind you of your former dreams
• Transparent carry bag – so everyone can see exactly what you’re bringing (and what you’re lacking)
• Bold design on both sides – because symmetry is all you’ve got left
• One size: 7.5″ × 15.5″ – fits most hands, even lonely ones
• Made in China – not in Q’s bedroom, thankfully
Use this set when you want to feel like you're still in the game, even if it’s just you, your paddle, and the cold realization that nobody’s showing up for this rally.
Disclaimer:
This set won’t fix your aim, your bars, or your life—but it will look a lot better than Q mid-phone call, mid-search, mid-crisis.
Scope not included. Dignity sold separately.
Doug Tree’s “Hey Dude” Pickleball Set
Because sometimes it’s just you, the paddle, and a whole lot of questionable decisions.
You ever call someone while shirtless, holding a paddle in one hand and examining your new amazon package with the desperation of a man who hasn't seen a W since 2019?
That’s Lil Q.
And judging by the Vaseline, the dim lighting, and the battlefield of laundry behind him—he’s not prepping for a match, he’s prepping for disappointment.
This pickleball set holds its form better than Q holds a conversation.
It’s durable, reliable, and blessedly silent—unlike Q’s phone calls.
What’s in the set (besides abandonment issues):
• 2 wooden paddles with black edges – perfect for when you’re talking smack to yourself in the mirror
• Soft poly-cotton grips – for comfort between existential crises
• 2 neon yellow balls – bright enough to remind you of your former dreams
• Transparent carry bag – so everyone can see exactly what you’re bringing (and what you’re lacking)
• Bold design on both sides – because symmetry is all you’ve got left
• One size: 7.5″ × 15.5″ – fits most hands, even lonely ones
• Made in China – not in Q’s bedroom, thankfully
Use this set when you want to feel like you're still in the game, even if it’s just you, your paddle, and the cold realization that nobody’s showing up for this rally.
Disclaimer:
This set won’t fix your aim, your bars, or your life—but it will look a lot better than Q mid-phone call, mid-search, mid-crisis.
Scope not included. Dignity sold separately.
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